The bus is a horrible, horrible place for fashion. Some people go too far and some people don't go far enough. Either way, the bus never lets me down when I need to get my critique on.
1. Only a few days ago, I saw a perfectly normal male, from the waist up. He had a slight mohawk (the one where guys have pretty short hair, but they use a slightly closer number on the shaver on the sides of their heads) and a black bomber jacket. Normal, right? He was wearing red flannel pajama pants on the bottom. The PJ bottoms were covered in what looked like superhero sayings ("BOOM" "POW" "ZING") and some character, I think. I squinted and looked around people to try to see what was on the pants to no avail. If only he came a bit closer.
2. The buses I take are in Brampton. This city has the largest Indian population in Canada according to the most reliable source ever - Wikipedia. For those of you who keep Columbus's INCORRECT assumption going, I mean the real Indians, not natives/aboriginals/first nations people. (Pet peeve. Don't call first nations people Indians. I will hate you, deep down.)
Whenever it rains, older Sikh men (the guys with turbans) have trouble fitting a hood over their religious headgear. I don't know if umbrellas are difficult for them to find, but I've seen a few who have discovered the plastic bag. I'm not kidding... They throw plastic bags over their heads and walk around like bosses. I saw one man who decided a Dollarama shower cap was the best option. This man was sitting on a bus wearing something my 70-something-year-old Oma wears in the shower.
In the winter, scarves come out. I don't know if light, fashionable scarves are "in" during the Indian heat, but as soon as winter scarves pop up, some Indian people don't seem to know what to do with them. I've seen far too many older men with scarves wrapped under their chins and tied tightly on top of their turbans. I've seen women wrap scarves around their heads too. It's called a hat, ladies. I guess the men don't have much of an option.
Note to self: invent earmuffs for men with turbans.
3. There's a girl I've seen a few times waiting for the same bus as I do. She's got an awesome pinup-esque style. She has a great red wool coat, winged eyeliner and short bangs. I thought she was adorable until I sat behind her on the bus. Her dark brown/black hair is dyed. Apparently, she did the dye job herself because she left chunks of dark blonde/orange-y hair at the back of her head. Haven't any of her friends told her?! Poor girl's walking around like her hair's got vitiligo.
4. One woman decided tight white pants were a great idea. WRONG! If you're wearing white pants, make sure they fit you. White can show every lump and bump and I do not want to see any of that, thank you. Also, don't buy a pair that goes up past your belly button unless you're going to wear a shirt that leaves everyone none the wiser.
5. I don't care if something's a fad; it doesn't make it less stupid. Leggings as pants are a no. Jeggings are a hell no. It's called denim. Try it sometime.
DO NOT wear those raccoon tail things. You're a human, not a garbage-digging, plant-killing, cat-fighting, mask-faced creature. Well, I hope not. Don't steal their tails.
DO NOT wear hipster sunglasses on an overcast, rainy day. I'm talking to you, hipster bus boy. His sunglasses had bright blue arms that said "so hip it hurts." No. Just no.
Hair feathers are not cool. They're about as beautiful as that whole 'coon tail hair dying people do/did.
Don't do it.
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