Fashion Faux Pas

So, as none of you (or should I say "you," since I know my teacher's the only one reading this) know, I graduated from the fashion business program at Humber. Though I dress myself with comfort in mind, I did learn styling, merchandising, colour theory and all that jazz. Because of this, I'm obviously a fashion expert. You must all trust my styling judgement and listen to my ingenious tips.

The bus is a horrible, horrible place for fashion. Some people go too far and some people don't go far enough. Either way, the bus never lets me down when I need to get my critique on.

1. Only a few days ago, I saw a perfectly normal male, from the waist up. He had a slight mohawk (the one where guys have pretty short hair, but they use a slightly closer number on the shaver on the sides of their heads) and a black bomber jacket. Normal, right? He was wearing red flannel pajama pants on the bottom. The PJ bottoms were covered in what looked like superhero sayings ("BOOM" "POW" "ZING") and some character, I think. I squinted and looked around people to try to see what was on the pants to no avail. If only he came a bit closer.

The pattern was busy like the photo, but the pants were red and definitely not Superman.


2. The buses I take are in Brampton. This city has the largest Indian population in Canada according to the most reliable source ever - Wikipedia. For those of you who keep Columbus's INCORRECT assumption going, I mean the real Indians, not natives/aboriginals/first nations people. (Pet peeve. Don't call first nations people Indians. I will hate you, deep down.)
Whenever it rains, older Sikh men (the guys with turbans) have trouble fitting a hood over their religious headgear. I don't know if umbrellas are difficult for them to find, but I've seen a few who have discovered the plastic bag. I'm not kidding... They throw plastic bags over their heads and walk around like bosses. I saw one man who decided a Dollarama shower cap was the best option. This man was sitting on a bus wearing something my 70-something-year-old Oma wears in the shower.
In the winter, scarves come out. I don't know if light, fashionable scarves are "in" during the Indian heat, but as soon as winter scarves pop up, some Indian people don't seem to know what to do with them. I've seen far too many older men with scarves wrapped under their chins and tied tightly on top of their turbans. I've seen women wrap scarves around their heads too. It's called a hat, ladies. I guess the men don't have much of an option.

Note to self: invent earmuffs for men with turbans.


3. There's a girl I've seen a few times waiting for the same bus as I do. She's got an awesome pinup-esque style. She has a great red wool coat, winged eyeliner and short bangs. I thought she was adorable until I sat behind her on the bus. Her dark brown/black hair is dyed. Apparently, she did the dye job herself because she left chunks of dark blonde/orange-y hair at the back of her head. Haven't any of her friends told her?! Poor girl's walking around like her hair's got vitiligo.

4. One woman decided tight white pants were a great idea. WRONG! If you're wearing white pants, make sure they fit you. White can show every lump and bump and I do not want to see any of that, thank you. Also, don't buy a pair that goes up past your belly button unless you're going to wear a shirt that leaves everyone none the wiser.

5. I don't care if something's a fad; it doesn't make it less stupid. Leggings as pants are a no. Jeggings are a hell no. It's called denim. Try it sometime.
DO NOT wear those raccoon tail things. You're a human, not a garbage-digging, plant-killing, cat-fighting, mask-faced creature. Well, I hope not.  Don't steal their tails.
DO NOT wear hipster sunglasses on an overcast, rainy day. I'm talking to you, hipster bus boy. His sunglasses had bright blue arms that said "so hip it hurts." No. Just no.
Hair feathers are not cool. They're about as beautiful as that whole 'coon tail hair dying people do/did.

Don't do it.

Rules

Riding the bus is never pleasant. The number of strange people in this blog alone tells you there are definitely some problems with public transit. Because of this, I've come up with a list of bus etiquette. Though it may end up costing me content for this blog, I'm willing to take the chance.

1. Take a shower. This doesn't mean use half a bottle of floral perfume, grandmas; this means jump in the shower and use real soap.

2. Keep the noise down. Don't talk loudly (don't want to hear about your last appointment with the doctor). Don't play your music out loud (no one really likes rap. NO ONE). Don't yell into your phone (technology has improved since the tin can phone). Don't sing along with your music (we can't hear the song and you're not promoting it well).

3. Think about personal space. When you sprawl out in your seat, I have to squish against the wall. This isn't comfortable. Don't sit sideways in the seat with a big backpack on. You're crushing me.

4. No PDA. I'm trying to get home from a busy, stressful day at school; I don't want to watch you people drooling all over each other. I always have an urge to smack both of your heads together and you'd better hope I don't give in to it. Pretty sure you can keep those desires to yourself for a full bus ride.

5. If your stop's coming up soon, take an aisle seat or stand. When you take the wall seat, I have to get up to let you off. This is annoying. Think before you act.

6. No strollers. Buses are not designed for strollers. If you leave your stroller out in the aisle, everyone else will bump into it and wake your baby, making it cry. This just makes every situation worse.

7. Don't dance to your music. We can't hear it. You look stupid.

8. Don't eat foods I will crave when I see them. Self explanatory.

9. Have your change/ticket/pass ready before you get on the bus. Were you never a Boy Scout/Girl Guide? Motto: be prepared.

10. If you don't have a heavy bag or leg problems and you're young, give up your seat. I don't know how many times I've had to stand while carrying a few big, heavy bags. Not only do my bags force me to block the aisle, they also weigh me down. Help a girl out.

Front page!

I got my fifth story published this week. The thing is, IT WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE! I never thought I'd see the day an A&E/Life story would make the cover. I'm so happy and excited.
People are talking about it because the picture the editors chose was one of the creepiest, goriest, more disgusting photos I submitted. Surprisingly, people love it. Mmmm, blood and guts.

Read it HERE

This is the picture:

Too gross? Too gory? It gets people to pick up the paper, so it works, right?

That guy was awesome. He posed for me and waited patiently as I flipped the camera around, getting different angles.
I found him on Facebook and thanked him for getting me the cover. He had posted on the Facebook Toronto Zombie Walk page though; I'm not a complete zombie stalker.

I also helped one of the editors get this video:

I'm that annoying voice that says "guys" far too often than one should when one is interviewing. Thankfully, the editor cut out most of my talking. I do, however, get a few questions in there.

If my Reporting/Editing teacher doesn't give me some sort of good mark for this, I will spend 30 extra minutes cursing her before bedtime. Hell, I have more than enough time on the bus. Do they allow candles and blood markings on buses? Are candles and blood markings a part of cursing others?

Note to self: buy book on black magic, just in case.

Bad Note

A while back, I was on the bus home when I noticed a girl near the front pull out some music. I'm sure you're expecting some sort of iPod, but you're completely wrong, of course. This lady whips out either a CD player or a walkman - I can't even remember. Either way, it's outdated and bulky!
That's alright though; if you want to carry CDs around, go for it. Thing is, she didn't stop there. She started singing as loudly as she could.
If she was a good singer, it would have been annoying. Instead, she was rip-your-eardrums-out bad. She sang everything from ballads to top 40 pop songs.
I thought it was a one time thing, but I'm only writing this post because a friend reminded me of the annoying singer.
I really hope she now keeps her singing to the shower.

In Your Head

Since I wrote my last blog, I got two more stories published.
Read them HERE and HERE

This week, I got the best story! I covered the Toronto Zombie Walk, complete with a zombie wedding in front of hundreds, if not thousands, of undead bodies. The bride came out of a coffin with full skeleton makeup, for goodness sake. It was amazing.

I was there for about six hours and I felt like the time flew by. I took photos and did interviews on film with an editor. I was so busy, I didn't even realize it was time for the walk to begin. I want to go again next year!

There was a surprising number of small children at the walk. Pretty sure I would have cried had I seen those zombie people when I was that young. 

They were far too cute to be scared of. 

Not surprisingly, I noticed a few Occupy protester zombies. 

Though I didn't see him, there was a Jack Layton zombie too. Far too soon. 

I had tons of fun with this story and I hope it also gets published! 

The Sleeper

Journalism has been far too crazy for me to update this blog as often as I'd like to. I fill my BlackBerry's MemoPad with descriptions of people on the buses, but I don't seem to have the time to type it up here. Well, I might, but a girl needs a little sit-on-the-couch-staring-into-space-wishing-journalism-would-just-give-her-a-break-already time.

I keep thinking I should save some of the interesting characters for when there's a lull in crazy bus people, but I don't see that day coming anytime soon.

A few days ago, I was sitting on the bus home. I'm sneaky and I walk a bit farther to go to one of the earlier, less busy stops. Because of this, I almost always get the seat I want. Gives me a sense of victory at the end of a long, boring day at school.
I got the perfect seat - the one right beside the window, across from the back door - and I was getting ready to pull out my iPod and phone and get settled for the ride.
The bus pulled up to the busy stop and a wave of people rushed in.
One of the first guys on the bus has his pick of seats, but, of course, he decided to sit right next to me. Why do people do this? If I had a choice, I'd sit by myself.
He had a ponytail and the same getup as unicorn tattoo man - black jeans, black top, black cap.
He turned to me and said "Are you going far?"
I let him know I was going to the end of the bus route and he informed me that he was going to be sleeping.
Why not sit near a window then? I don't understand people.

Published Again!

CLICK THIS 'CAUSE I GOT MY STORY PUBLISHED!

That's right; I got my second story published online and in the newspaper. They even added a teaser for my story on the front page. Movin' up in the world.

The problem: the online editors said the picture was by me. IT WAS A COURTESY SHOT, GENIUSES.
I told my editors on Wednesday and they said they'd tell the online editors right away. They still haven't changed it and I don't think they ever will. Pretty sure it doesn't take days to fix a tiny mistake - especially one that could be considered plagiarism.
I definitely will not take the blame for this one.

(Photo by Jimmy and Dena Katz - NOT BY ME)

Published!

So, my first story was published. Yes, my mom took five copies.

Don't I just look all professional now? Don't know if anyone outside of the Journalism program and my family read it, but a girl can pretend. 

This past week, I interviewed Grammy-winner Maria Schneider. She was so nice and answered all of my questions. Really down to earth! 

Surprisingly, media lawyers do want to talk. I was shocked too! When I let them know I didn't need to interview them anymore 'cause they got back to me too late, they let me add them to my list of contacts. I was surprised. Why do people hate lawyers?

Tomorrow, I get to interview members of the band Anvil. Whaaa? Crazy, I know. I never thought I'd be interviewing people who have actually made a name for themselves. People in the other beats are getting all of these boring people and I'm getting the stars. Awww yeeeaaahhh. A&E ftw.

Wonder who I'll get to interview next!

And no, this doesn't mean J-school's all sunshine and rainbows now. You don't know the half of it.

Unicorn man is back!

Every Humber girl watches out for the Humber Fire students. We all do it silently, but they know. I swear those program shirts they wear are like magnets for every student with a couple of X-chromosomes.
It's no surprise that when I realized a Humber Fire guy was on the bus today, I didn't look in many other places. *sigh*
Not my fault; it's an instinct.
While I was enjoying the lovely view, the bus pulled up to fire boy's stop. Boo.
I pouted for a bit until I realized that unicorn tattoo man came on at the same stop! He was wearing the same motorcycle shirt and a cap with flames. I hadn't noticed it before, but he may have had a mullet. The hat threw me off, but it's probable. He also had Hell's Angels-esque beard. This man just keeps getting better.


Not only did I see a future fireman and unicorn tattoo man, I also had some celebrity sightings. Well, not really, but these girls sure looked like celebrities. In the morning, I spotted a girl who looked like Saoirse Ronan (that is a seriously hard name to spell) and a Hayley Williams lookalike going home. I wanted to ask for autographs until I realized I had to stop myself from looking like a psycho freak. I settled for staring and squinting like I was part of an old couple sightseeing in L.A.